Sauna
The Sauna Incident
.
Something shocking happened in the sauna today.
I walked in after my gym workout and swim like I normally do. Towel off. Naked. It’s a women’s locker room. Bodies of every age and shape—I’ve got no energy on it.
Before I even sat down, I felt it.
Anger.
It was radiating off one woman in the corner. She looked ready for a fight. The kind of energy that feels like it’s been arguing with life all morning.
I took off my towel and sat down.
She exploded.
Voice raised. Finger in my face. “You’re not allowed to be naked! I’ll go to the front desk! I’ve had people kicked out before! This is wrong!”
Three weeks ago?
My ego would have come out swinging.
I don’t love being told what to do. I definitely don’t love authority rooted in fear.
I could have ferociously and eloquently destroyed her with words and then replayed it all day, needing to be right.
But today?
Nothing moved inside me.
No bristle or tightening.
Not even an internal counterattack forming.
Just neutrality.
I calmly put my towel on. Not because she intimidated me. Because I chose to. My internal state didn’t shift.
That’s what shocked me.
For the last few weeks I’ve been deconstructing my ego patterns in real time — watching the reflex to defend, dominate, separate, or prove.
Apparently, life had decided to give me a practical exam.
And then it got better.
As I was leaving the gym, dressed and heading to my car, I heard a familiar tone behind me.
It was her.
She didn’t recognize me clothed. She was talking about “that naked woman in the sauna,” recounting the confrontation, criticizing my behavior, and getting herself worked up all over again.
I could literally feel the radiation of her anger as she replayed the story.
And I realized something.
She was still in it.
I wasn’t.
Three weeks ago I would have left the gym lit up, replaying it in my head, justifying myself, maybe even plotting a follow-up conversation.
Instead?
I felt light.
Almost triumphant — not over her, but over myself.
If we’re the creators of our experience, I couldn’t have designed a better encounter to examine my own ego.
An invitation to see: is the ego still driving?
Today, it wasn’t.
No rumination or energetic leak.
Just peace.
And that kind of freedom feels better than winning ever did.
Read The Next One: THE DANGEROUS CHIP ON MY SHOULDER →
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The Cost Of Other People’s Opinions Of You
Some books are discovered after they’re published.
This one can be experienced while it’s still unfolding.
What began with deep self-inquiry became the Courageous Heart Expedition—and now my first book. Stories, films, photographs, reflections and discoveries are coming together as the work continues to unfold. You’re invited to explore what I’m creating and find your way in.
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The Living Lab
Life is a lab. It’s always open.
How much of your life did you actually choose?
Most of us inherit far more than we realize—beliefs, identities, fears, and subconscious programming that control how we see ourselves.
The Living Lab is an ongoing exploration of what we discover when we question what we’ve been taught, challenge the ego, examine our conditioning, and experiment with different ways of being.
Because once you see what you didn’t choose, you get to decide what comes next.
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