Cost
The Cost Of Carrying
.
What if the reason you’re exhausted isn’t how much you’re carrying…but how long you’ve been carrying it?
Recently I was driving with someone in the car while another person was on speakerphone.
The person on the phone was having an incredibly stressful day.
Without warning, they erupted in anger.
Eventually they directed it at me, calling me a name that shocked the person sitting beside me.
The passenger couldn’t believe what they had just heard.
Neither could I.
But something interesting happened next.
A couple minutes later I had already let it go.
The passenger hadn’t.
Days later they were still talking about it and carrying it long after I had set it down.
That experience reminded me of an old story.
A monk and his student came upon a woman standing beside a large mud puddle. She was dressed beautifully and couldn’t cross without ruining her clothing.
The monk picked her up, carried her across the mud, set her down, and continued walking.
Hours later, the student finally asked the question that had been bothering him all day.
“Master, why did you touch that woman? You know we’re not supposed to do that.”
The monk looked at him and replied:
“I put her down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?”
I suspect many of us are carrying things that should have been put down years ago.
A criticism someone made years prior.
A betrayal we never fully processed.
Guilt from a decision we can’t undo.
Fear of being seen.
An identity we’ve already outgrown.
A story about ourselves that no longer fits.
Then we wonder why we’re exhausted.
Imagine carrying a backpack filled with fifty pounds of bricks everywhere you go.
You’d expect to feel tired.
Now imagine carrying five hundred pounds of invisible bricks.
Worry.
Rumination.
Regret.
Shame.
Obligation.
All those unfinished emotional loops running quietly in the background.
How much energy would that consume?
Maybe one of the greatest forms of self-mastery isn’t learning how to carry more.
Perhaps it’s learning what no longer needs to be carried at all.
Lately I’ve been exploring what I call “The Cost of Carrying” — the energy we spend holding onto things long after they’ve served their purpose.
A question I’ve been sitting with today:
What are you still carrying that is costing you energy, peace, health, creativity, or joy?
And what might become possible if you finally put it down?
Read The Next One: THE DANGEROUS CHIP ON MY SHOULDER →
PLAY IN THE LIVING LAB →
ENJOY THE FULL LIBRARY:
The Dangerous Chip On My Shoulder
Why Do Smart People Stay Stuck?
I Threw Away Every Medal I Ever Earned
Instead Of A Promotion, I Got Fired
I Ran An Experiment With The Universe
People MisJudge High Performers
The Cost Of Other People’s Opinions Of You
Some books are discovered after they’re published.
This one can be experienced while it’s still unfolding.
What began with deep self-inquiry became the Courageous Heart Expedition—and now my first book. Stories, films, photographs, reflections and discoveries are coming together as the work continues to unfold. You’re invited to explore what I’m creating and find your way in.
My Latest…
The Living Lab
Life is a lab. It’s always open.
How much of your life did you actually choose?
Most of us inherit far more than we realize—beliefs, identities, fears, and subconscious programming that control how we see ourselves.
The Living Lab is an ongoing exploration of what we discover when we question what we’ve been taught, challenge the ego, examine our conditioning, and experiment with different ways of being.
Because once you see what you didn’t choose, you get to decide what comes next.
SUPPORT THE WORK
Independent work like this exists because people choose to help make it possible. You can help me keep creating it.